The Only Way Is Through

In life’s most painful times, it’s so much easier to numb our feelings, to not think about them, and just hope it all passes. It’s anticipating and tensing our whole body knowing the impact will leave a mark.

I’ve numbed my own pain in many ways whether that was escaping for a night, a weekend, or a whole week. It’s being away, but not away too. It’s not being in the moment, but half in and half out.

And numbing my pain hasn’t helped me grow. It’s slowed my growth actually because I haven’t come to terms with how I feel. I haven’t come to terms with the hurt and the truth that lays in that pain.

Truly, the only way to get through anything is to go through it. It’s to do the hard work, and walk through the fogginess of feelings. It’s realizing the impact of that hurt and pain and not denying it. It’s being okay to truly feel each of those feelings, letting it carry over my own body, and letting my body cave in to it. It’s raising my white flag and surrendering.

And that journey is ongoing. Those feelings will come back. Just like any feeling, I know that the work is never done. These things will show up again, and I’ll go through it again.

Am I afraid?

Am I scared?

Am I losing?

Maybe. Maybe. Maybe.

But I know that when I have let go is when I have felt the most free. When I have not tense my body up, but I have surrendered, that is when I have felt the most free.

Truly, the only way is through.