Choose Your Hard

I was working on another project, and thinking about a friend of mine who was having difficulty in her marriage. It makes me sad to see couples struggle, or break up. It’s triggering, but I try my best to listen and support my friends when they are going through a hard time.

What I’ve seen is that sometimes divorce is the answer.

But often times, I really just want my friends to work it out with their spouses. The thing is that there is no perfect person. Every person comes with their own problems, their own baggage, their own traumas. You can look and look and look to the ends of the Earth, and still, there would be no perfect person for you. It would be someone who would just want to please you, and they wouldn’t be happy eventually.

It’s loving the imperfections, loving the times where you just don’t want to love, and loving the mundane.

I don’t believe that sparks fly forever. I don’t believe that the happy times last forever. I don’t believe that you will wake up everyday thanking them for being with you.

I think sometimes they get on your nerves. They stress you out. They make you sad. They make you mad.

But it’s the choosing everyday. It’s the choosing of them. It’s the choosing to stay committed. It’s the choosing that no matter what, you’re in it for the long haul.

Of course, there are addictions and abuse, which is another story.

But this isn’t about that.

So wherever you are in your marriage, know that every person comes with it their own hard. You decide which hard you choose. And if you decide to, you can choose it for a year, for two years, or forever. That decision is up to you, and the both of you.